I feel disconsolate, unavailing, vain, pointless. I feel as if i have grasped enough. As if devouring life is no longer a journey for me. I cannot see the bright side and yet cannot polish the dull side either. I'm numb. No LOVE nor HATE. My dreams are vanished for no reason being. My peers just stand by and family passes by. I feel unnoticeable like an old abandoned painting in a basement with no where to go just lying around waiting for. . . waiting for nothing. As i see people's faces with joy i smile back with an extreme phony smile. No words come out i am mute. No body language either for i am still. Tears no longer run down my cheeks, there are none left. Mind clutter has taken over. No one matters. I look for god, my only hope ,but i cannot hear him. No one will ever know how i truly feel because frankly i don't understand myself. Is it that my innocence was taken away too soon? Or is it depression? followed by addiction? How will i be helped if i choose not to express how i feel? I guess it is just the story of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment